Uncertainty

"Harry, now is the time to choose between what is right and what is easy."--Dumbledore 

I recently watched "Harry Potter and Goblet of Fire" over the Christmas break and this was the statement Dumbledore left Harry at the end of the movie. I thought about that for awhile and several things came to mind:

In regards to writing Fantasy--and no I don't know much about it, but--there is give and take with the reader: As an author, you have the opportunity to create a world where there is magic, imagination, totally different cultures with novel belief systems and traditions, role reversals, different species of humans and animals, aliens, you name it--in short, world building. But what you sacrifice is the element of realism, the characters handle problems dictated by the world in which they live in, which means sometimes the reader struggles to relate. However, what J.K. Rowling did so well was what every author strives to do: The problems experienced by Harry, Ron, and Hermione, are problems experienced by any kid who has ever had to trudge through the halls of high school. We've all met a Draco, had to deal with a Draco. We've all had crushes, had a first love, hated our families, hated our teachers (Snape). And for adults, we've all had to decide between the question that Dumbledore posed to Harry. We've had to make tough choices and will continue to make those choices as we get older.

As I get older, I have realized that the right choice often comes down to the very words Dumbledore spoke to Harry. In essence, it isn't easy: What we really want or what is best for us may not be the easiest thing to accomplish, and sadly, some people falter, some choose the alternative.

A couple of hours ago, I got off the phone with a good friend of mine who is now in medical school. We went to college together, lived together. And I can easily say he's one of the best friends I have (I know this seems like a digression but just listen). My friend and I started talking about where we are headed in our lives and the misconceptions we had that early adulthood has elucidated. Growing up, I believed many things, many things that ended up not being true, but I always thought that I would go to college, find someone to marry, settle down, have kids, ...you get the picture. I believed that I would know what I wanted to do, where I would be, and who I would be doing it with. I was so sure of myself, as was he, I think. And for some people that happens: They find what they are going to do for the rest of their lives. They meet that special someone early on. They know where they will be living. But for most it just isn't true. For instance, many individuals end up changing careers multiple times over the course of their life, and individuals may be completely different images of themselves at age 20, as compared to age 30. This happens. It's inevitable. What I struggle with is letting that happen, which brings me back to Dumbledore's original statement--slowly, yes, but I'm getting there.

It's the uncertainty in my life that I struggle with. I can never seem to get used to it. I worry too much, and all my worry seems to be over things I can't control (isn't that always the case).  When I was a kid, the only thing I was uncertain of was what I was going to have for dinner, what video game I may play later on that night. Currently, I'm uncertain in my academic life, in my family life, in my love life, hell, in all of it. The precariousness of life always seems to be the most troubling.

And that's why I believe we fear those choices that Dumbledore eloquently put so well: The right choice leads to uncertainty; it leads to an open road, with no map, no compass, and sometimes very little help from anyone. You're stranded. And the only way to survive is to keep moving forward. But in my experience, most people don't make this choice. We give reasons why we can't. "I can't do that because I'd have to move." "It's too hard." "I'd be giving up so much." Comfort, security--they are just veils behind which uncertainty lies. We're afraid, pure and simple. I'm afraid. This isn't to say that sometimes the easy choice and the right choice can't be the same, or that someone who doesn't make the "right" choice should look down upon themselves for it. Let me put it more realistically: It isn't just a little fear that hinders us. These choices are pretty damn terrifying. They cripple us. And most of the time on our best days, we can't make that choice because there is such a great cost to us--and that's okay. 

Let's go back to Harry Potter.

In the novels to come, he is put in position after position where he has to make choices like these, choices that lead him into the realm of uncertainty, into the heart of fear. But he does it. And that's why we love Harry so god damn much. He's what we want to be. Every. Time. Sure, sometimes he falters, makes mistakes, but he does what we can't, makes the choice that we know in our own hearts we would crumble making. I'd like to think I've made a few choices that have been "right", but I know in all of them this wasn't the case. I guess what it comes down to is you have to decide is it really worth it. And for Harry, sometimes he is pushed into that choice isn't he? A bit of a digression, but perhaps that is the only time we feel we can make those choices: We must be pushed into them by external events. Something happens where the right choice becomes the only choice, something made easy through hardship.

Alright I'm done for now. Enjoy the rest of the week.

--Matt